Friday, July 18, 2014

Internet Game Fraud



I've been doing this for more than two decades. The average jackwipe that complains about one bad night doesn't have a clue about the reality of what goes on in the real world. Because the average jackwipe is just a clueless money donor or artificial intelligence,

This is a message I never should have received. I'm not allowed to even observe a table unless I make a real money deposit. I can't make that deposit. I live in oe of those kinda smart countries that have banned Internet poker real money bullshit.

If your crack IT team can't recognize I'm playing from a US IP address then they otta be fired. If you were a real business.

I have to click on a checkbox that says I understand that the US Justice Dept. acnowledges that I can't play for real money. And you offer up tables that make me forced to deposit real money simply to observe.

Bullshit

Monday, July 14, 2014

PauseStars




This was a much needed laugh for me. But journalism first.

Again I've observed a real money buy in game where the blinds actually put out are less than the blinds the table is supposedly supposed to supposedly be. These supposed players just can't supposedly help themselves or supposedly realize that they are not supposedly breaking the supposed rules.

I can do this every day. For now.

Ad here we have this interesting bloke that decided to name himself PauseStars. I actually think this might be a real and pissed off human being. If PokerFrauds cared about their image it's doubtful this player would exist. Other than the obvious rule breaks like the blinds I've been posting about and the obvious mathematical anomalies like Miss Piggy the single thing PauseStars is most famous for is exceptionally slow play. The sitting out. The timing out. These assholes haven't even begun to have a suppossed clue on what the word "Turbo" supposedly means. Hyper doesn't mean really fast. It's what your cat acts like after eating a fern and you ignore it because you wasted a night on non-random cards.

Sunday, July 13, 2014

PokerStars Lack of Math



Of all the the stupid things PokerStars has done in the past two decades this rates really high on the chart. These are supposedly real people playing for supposedly real money on a supposedly table with a supposedly minimum of supposedly $10. And yet the supposedly actual bet is supposedly $1.50.

If you are a real person playing here this should just scream out

WHAT THE FUCK????

But AI doesn't care.

Am I supposedly to think that it's supposedly cool that I only have to supposedly bet $1.50 instead of a supposed $10? If I were a supposed real person I would supposedly be offended that the supposed payoff on the supposed hand was less than it supposedly should have been because the supposed biggest and poker best site on the Internet can't follow simple math a four year old understands.

"Mommy, can I have $1.50 for an ice cream cone?" "No way, that's too much. Here's $10. It's all the same in the bizarre world of Internet poker."

Saturday, July 12, 2014

PokerFrauds Cheating



I can do this every single day. It's a badly programmed database. The odds of being sitting at a table full of real people are zero.

PokerFrauds, just like Scientology are trying to suck up as much money out of their whales before fading out into nothing.

PokerStars Cheating



Please follow some of the basic rules. Like when you sit at a table and the blinds are $10/$20 and magically the players are going at it with $1.50.

Yeah, I'm from the US and I'm not allowed to play for real money. For now I'm still allowed to watch. Getting cheated at the free money games constantly makes me wonder what is up with this site.

I didn't make a conscious decision to change the graphics. There wasn't a friendly message about an upgrade that changed my graphics.

Table full of AI that doesn't have to follow the rules.

Friday, July 4, 2014

Upgrade on PokerStars



Normally every buy in is a nice even multiple of $50. Now that Amaya has bought the site we have this major upgrade (do ya hear the sarcasm?) where on the meaningless free money tables now there is an offbeat $275 buy in. $250. $500. Pointless. Getting cheated for $25 more than the normal meaningless free money chips is bullshit.

Thursday, July 3, 2014

PokerStars Admin Bragging About the 40 Chip Comeback



I don't think this is really the way this went down. But I'm gonna take this jakewipe's word for it since it suits my purposes.

Let's start with the probable reality before the endgame. I'm at a table where it's really not too popular and it fills up without supposedly real people. Fixed lmit, yet the play early on resembles all in moronic nonsense. This happens all the time.

Naturally Teddy/jackwipe cheating douchebag is a starred player.

But let us defenestrate and forget that.

Go all in on a full table with 40 chips. Do a little bit of fucking math PS. $40 with 4 players calling you got $160. $160 with four players calling you got $640. $640 with four players calling you got over 2k and your back in the game.

The math doesn't work because doubling down when impossibly short stacked requires too many clueless idiots that are willing to call...and raise on bullshit cards.

I don't care if you are Ivey, Moneymaker, Hellmouth, Brunson or whatever real players there are out there. Nobody. Fucking nobody comes back from 40 chips to handily win a tourney. A free money tourney where you wouldn't even be wasting your time.