And Let's Not Forget Omaha Hi-lo

There is way too many chips here to even begin to think that this table is for real.

More Bad Software Bullshit

PokerStars has a search feature which really doesn't help them in regards to making it look like real people are playing. I went back to looking into my players not shown table from the last post. You can see the player list if you click on registering yourself.

I started to find players and most of them are blocked. Which means the default attitude is extreme modesty and you don't want other people to know what cool tables you are playing at. I finally latched on to one that wasn't blocked from being found. rwbw.

First of all, the thought that anyone would register for a game that is destined to start in maybe two hours from now isn't normal human behavior. And this is the only table that rwbw is registered.

The real gem here is that the find a player option shows the status of the table. And it shows this table that is registering on the lobby screen as running on the search screen. How do you explain that?

Why?

From what I've read Pokerstars is this ultracool site where there is this ultracool software that cooly makes the games more cool because it makes a cool framework for coolness. But the uncool facts continue to prove out the actual uncoolishness.

Inconsistency in the lobby and registration screens. Like maybe you have something to hide?

Since my dog decided to cool out and sleep I thought I might actually waste some time on a huge multiplayer game. My excitement for this was cooled when the registration screen didn't display normally. Instead of the usual cool list of what cool dudes and dudettes are waiting to play I get that 71 of 180 players are waiting and that the cool sit and go will begin when 180 cool players are sitting at the tables.

From a software standpoint this is pretty fucking stupid. If it was a private game that the names are hidden it would be easier to just not make it available. If it's just one of those randomly generated tables there's no good reason to not show the player list. And it's not like Pokerstars has gone on record and said that play money tables where Chris Moneymaker (or insert your favorite poker pro here) is sitting at won't show the player list before registration is complete.

I am amazed and confused at how Internet poker in general and PokerStars in particular can be so impossibly bad and I'm the only one that notices anymore. Ostriches with your head in the sand denying the evidence. Ostriches are not cool. They live in warm climates.

Jerry and his award wining cohorts

I'm supposed to believe I'm playing against real humans. And what I get is someone who bought into a table and their first conscious thought is something like, "Wow I'm really stoned, wish I hadn't logged into that table. Let me sleep it off and I'll get back to this."

The Guiness Book of world Records has recorded PokerStars activity in regards to "players" like Jerry.

Most AI in a single online tournament. PokerStars.
Most AI in the lobby screen. Pokerstars.
Most AI on the waiting lists. PokerStars.
Most AI sitting out. PokerStars.
Most AI in debt to the AI Mafia. PokerStars.
Most AI breaking the rules. PojkerStars.
Most clueless humans that play for real money without a care for math and random cards. PokerStars.

The PokerStars Buy In to a Table

It would be really easy to just make the buy in 500 chips. But for whatever reason, PokerStars the giant bestest (real word) poker site has a buy in of 470 and some weird ass maintenance fee of $30 play money chips tacked on to it.

Think about it those of you who play for real money. What purpose does a free money maintenance fee serve? It's tiny, so it's not like it's a deal breaker where someone will do a face palm and cry themselves to sleep because they couldn't play on that precious table they wanted to.

It's because your a bunch of lazy cheating jackwipes that only want to have to run one program for your lame and obvious AI.

Random Poker Cards

Doubtful. I can't prove it. But surely others must have experienced it. When I play draw playing for high I fucking never get a pat full house. But since this is a low game naturally I get a hand that I can four draw on to get a king low. Which sucks balls.

Four Color Deck

This just might go down as the most useless upgrade in PokerStars history. The real money players know what the different suits look like. The play money players with their infinite supply of chips know what the suits look like. But just in case there is a patient in a mental asylum that needs some help, let's offer four deck colors to make it obvious.

Couldn't fix the flashy Sit Out message. Couldn't fix the time bank usage stupidity. PokerStars insults our intelligence by pointing out that we are too stupid to recognize the difference between clubs and spades.