PokerStars Moderators

Apparently you're not even allowed to talk to one anymore. AI just keeps chugging along.

I'm Inspired

There's no doubt that I'm not playing against real people. Flags from countries other than your origin. So I've chosen an avatar from the list that is surely weird. I'm now officially Micronesian.

I seriously doubt that Micronesia has ever fielded a winter Olympics sports team. Maybe they traveled to Burundi or Nepal to talk about their big plans on how they would one day conquer the world when the next ice age moves in and their lugers would rule the world. The only thing in there way is the Jamaican bobsled team.

If PokerStars was on the up and up they could have done a little bit of research on what countries actually are participating in the Olympics. Heaven forbid someone actually has to put in any effort to make that look realistic. Lets just throw some AI out there that never had to go through a real registration process and give them an Olympic avatar.

From past experience I know they hate the "My bike is red" scenario. Insane chat that deserves an immediate response that doesn't arrive because AI doesn't chat. Let me repost it for the newbies:

My bike is red
It's shiny
Streamers on the handlebars
Baseball card in the spokes
Banana seat
Oh yeah, it's tricked out
My bike tells me to worship Satan and kill my parents

You gotta admit that once you get to that last one if nobody has responded something really weird is going on. Usually I got through the entire list until the last before someone acknowledged my existence.

So tonight I'm going to create a new Micronesian version of this. Spinner dolphins. Bikini Atoll, Marshall Islands.

You've Had Too Much to Drink - You're Flagged

You can tell it's one of those special Olympic flag avatars instead of some randomly picked image. There's a little bit of bluish shading at the top.Indeed a tiny bit of research shows that this jackwipe with country of origin of Germany has decided that his national pride makes him pick the flag of Nepal. I can understand this once or twice over the course of these Olympics. But when I can find these mismatches everyday it's really hilarious.

Thank you Mother Nature for throwing me off normal schedule by snowing like crazy and being off work to continue busting on this obvious insanity.

I can already hear the lame excuses

"Oh Xenu, people move. They moved from their country of origin which they still have national pride in." Bullshit.

If this Danish fuck moved to the US after registering as a Denmarkian Dane he should be national pridey about being a US citizen. And I really don't understand how someone with an UK style flag avatar is from Brazil. Perhaps they were a traitor in WWII, didn't want to speak Portugese and use their flag.

Now if these incidents of using a flagatar (real word) where for real it wouldn't happen every day that there's a mismatch it might happen like once every 50 years. But since this is Olympic time and porly programmed AI is there. Happens every day.

One Mystery Solved

Yesterday I had two players presenting Albanian flags that weren't from Albania. Yes, this could happen, but the odds are pretty low. But as we all know now the odds of pretty much anything happening the way it does on PokerStars is pretty low. I've been screwing with these assholes for more than two two decades and I've never sat at a table with someone from Albania. Or Burundi.

Flagitious

For when Fascinorous just isn't strong enough.

Living in the 14th best country on the planet, the US, I think I have apretty good idea what my flag looks like. There are some stars and I seem to recall a bit of blue red and white. Or maybe I'm from France and I just zoned out too much after malt liquor consumption. But I also noticed some guy from Belgium with this plain red flag with some weird heraldic symbolly thing that wasn't the Belgian flag. Maybe he waffles between what avatar he uses.

Belgian waffles - get it.

The same avatar pops up on a German player. Ad it's not Germany's flag.

This "on the fly"creation of new bogus accounts has really reached new tremendous proportions of insulting the intelligence of anyone that's paying attention. I can do this for as long as the Olympics last.

Fak

More autopilot nonsense. AI raises. AI calls. There's nobody watching and if I had a 8 year old son next to me that would be offended by the thinly disguised parody of 'fuck'it's just out there on the net for everyone to see.