All In: The Poker Movie

Shade, without a doubt, is the worst poker movie ever made. A lack of understanding simple concepts like table stakes and who has to show their cards when a bet is called. And they even steal a line of dialogue from a great movie, "House of Games."

There is a contender. All In: The Poker Movie

The first point of amusement is that they generously call it a "movie." For a start on the road to credibility it should have been named "All In: The Poker Documentary." But they can't because it's not a documentary. It's an advertisement.

Let's take a flash back to 1972. A couple of years earlier my mathematician Dad introduced me to chess. I doubt there is a purer game of brain vs. brain skill. Dad eventually stopped playing with me because I kicked his ass every time. So as a ten year old chess addict I had an outlet for my love of the game when PBS televised the match between Fischer and Spassky.

Fischer was a complete douchebag. Spassky was a gentleman. Here I am a US citizen in the middle of the Cold War cheering for Spassky. (Cut me a break, I was 10.)

Here is chess on TV promoting a bland product. And it worked because of the commentary. A little bit of eye candy to move the chess piece on the board. Expert commentary trying to predict the next move. I find myself trying to predict the next move. I have nowhere near the skill level of these guys. (Cut me a break, I was 10.)

Interest in chess in the US soared after this. I eventually retired after achieving a rating close to Master when I found out I'd never get really good.

So like lots of other math geeks I take an interest in poker. It was my arcade and pizza money income in college.

So Internet poker gets off to a wildly high level of interest ala chess. And the gals and guys watching TV have the same promotion of the bland product. The TV viewer can see the hole cards and try to predict what will happen. The guy that flopped three queens lost to a straight on the river! Yippeee! That was exciting! Let me break out my check book and get in on this action!

My how convenient that these big poker tournaments have a lipstick camera. My how convenient that they can edit out all the stupid play. My how convenient that there are "characters" with wild personalities like Ferguson's card throwing, Lederer being the comatose patsy, Hellmuth being an obviously unprofessional dick.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to suggest these big money tournaments are rigged. What my point is that poker has been advertised and lauded as this great game. Where anyone can drop down a $100 deposit, get it matched. (Actually haven't seen that promo in awhile.) And flourish in a environment of lack of poker skill.

When Phil Ivey plays an Omaha Hi Lo table with a huge wait list and responds on his findings here, I might take two seconds to think about how I might be wrong. But the truth of me having played over a million hands and seeing stupid shit, like pocket kings in three consecutive hands is a tough nut to crack.