Saturday, March 1, 2014

I Have To Go



This is so retro like ten years ago bullshit. "I'm warning you. I'm going all-in jackwipes. Because I have to go." Yeah fucking right.

Back when PokerStars had a couple of thousand real people playing every night pretending that there was more than 100k playing I saw this a lot. Frankly I'm surprised to see it pulled out here when the chat, "upgrades," weird games and general lack of intelligent play point towards this just being another comical table filled with bogus positions being idiots chugging along to be part of the next bogus milestone hands. Where real money is supposedly given away to fake AI positions. Me and my crack team of psychoanalysts, movie lovers that have watched Total Recall and my awesome pit bull have this to say.

It's staged. There's no prize after beating Toru Tanaka. You are stuck in a game you aren't supposed to win.

It's a helluva lot easier to simply sit out or disconnect to leave the table. If you want to go all full tilty and go all in, just do it without proclaiming that you have a bogus legitimate reason to do it.

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