Hold'em Wait List 2 - Human Nature

This is how PokerStars burns through a 32 player wait list in an hour when if it was real people they would actually play a couple of hands before leaving. (And the shelf life of playing on a Stud Hi Lo seven card game seems to be about 5.)

Players that were so hot and heavy to join the game are gone by the time it's cycled around to their entry. This is real human nature. But the fact that you joined the game in the first place is not. Excuse me while I jerk off. I demand immediate gratification. I can't wait 50 minutes until Jarah gets back home.

And xandy. You really have to be kidding. Basically joined the huge wait list to pop in, say "Hi" and maybe actually played one or two hands.

And ever since my entry on to the wait list all of a sudden new players to the lobby don't think this table is so cool.

Hmmmmmmm

The Hold'Em Wait List - Part 1

A word of warning when dealing with me. Don't give me any bonus material. The main point of my investigation was to take a look and see why someone would join a table with a huge waiting list. Exactly how long do you have to wait and what is so cool about the table you chose? Some answers will follow, but I got way too many screen shots for one post.

You went through the reg process as a Russian. And since an ordinary human wouldn't wait almost an hour for a seat at a meaningless free money game you post what looks like might be Russian, but a simple Internet search proves it's meaningless.

And exactly what do you gain from this? Are you putting up a facade to gain government subsidies? Oh...look at me! I'm a poor Russian peasant! Send me some chickens.

It's vastly easier to believe you are a AI part of a table which had a big wait list that conveniently stopped posting chat when a real human signed up.

Tgolya nyet ols svetl.

Makes just as much sense as what you said.

Not Totally Bogus, but Certainly Weird

Let's start with the second screen shot first. I can accept this. Football junkie that likes the college and the pros. Oh, decisions, decisions, decisions...

Which one do I name myself after? The compromise is to name yourself Da Bears and show the Notre Dame logo. The Irish does have a national following.

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My current biggest project is investigating the buy ins on 200/400 no limit stud hi-lo. And there continues to be way too many people buying in at the recommended 16k which I personally think is too low. And there's no imagination, no real human thought involved to people constantly buying in at the recommended amount. If you have 18,132 chips you might as well bring them all if you want to play on this table. If you have 225k, why not throw in 25k?

An AI registration program doesn't think like a human (duh.) And since the norm is to play about five hands and leave regardless of the results it seems like, if these were real people, the idea is "Let me play 5 more hands before I sleep. I'll be up in a minute hun."

This guy is at the table and has more than 100k. Let's make two assholeumptions (real word, and it's not an assumption by the asshole, but about the asshole.) First, unlike me, you haven't figured out that tables with a big wait list are loaded with AI just screaming out to take their chips and you earned them the old fashioned way. This means you have some talent. So secondly that means you understand the rules and quirks of the table you sat at.

When it becomes obvious that the pot is going to be split, because of the rake and the eventual split you are going to earn less than you would have if you hadn't raised. Post rake I've made that mistake something like twice before I learned my lesson.

So here we have it. A talented idiot that's not paying attention or AI with the nuts. You decide.

Let's Talk About Emoticons and Chat

To back up for a second. My favorite games for something resembling real poker are a two table Hole'em sitter or a one table 5 card draw sitter, playing either high or low. When I want to get chips I play against the two year olds on Omaha high low or 7 stud hi lo.

After an intense 5 draw game that lasted about an a hour with no chat I've reflected on the differences between the two types. And I actually got my butt kicked on a two table Hold'em game before this - another 40 minutes. Almost two hours without a single "nh" or even the ever annoying "zzzzzzzzz" about the slowpokes.

Go to the Rage/Turbo Guts tales and the two year olds simply can't help but mouth off some nonsense continually.

The message is clear. You want to earn a bunch of chips in one night you have to play like a two year old. And if you get your ass handed to you someone will always transfer chips to you. When this free money not real poker bubble bursts the global economy is surely screwed.

But since neither type of table is populated by real people the almost for real games have no chat because AI doesn't chat. The Rage type all in crap has an abundance of meaningless chat. And the cowardly new addition of the emoticons. These are starting to become more prevalent, just like I predicted. Why post "nh" to the person that killed you when three frowny faces express so much more?

And I wonder since I'm not allowed to and have no desire to get robbed at real money tables - does anyone ever use the new emoticon chat options on them? Those of you that read this blog and play for real money, please report.

Introduction

Hi. My name is Jim. I live in northeast USA and I play a lot of poker. I've played over a million hands. And only the free money tables, even before US players weren't allowed to play for real money.

The reason I do this is some weird sense of self-validation and an argument with a friend who was playing for real money. He has graciously admitted I'm right.

I have developed a peculiar skill set over my life. Superhuman math skills being the son of a math teacher. Superhuman powers of observation. I could have been a police if I didn't decide to be an accountant. Superhuman powers of finding ways to get even when cheated at Internet games. Superhuman patience. And that one is the best because there is way too much raising going on.

Somehow PokerStars and every other site I've played on has decided that raising equals competence. Which I'm sure even the top poker pros that play there realize that every once in a while you must admit you have crap and give it up. Way too often I've sat at a table where someone carelessly goes all in on complete bullshit...and it works.

As you will see in the upcoming months and years, unless there is a massive program change, is that it's a database with an infinite chip stack for each player that doesn't have to worry about if they lose. I've struggled for years for my two million chips. And I can find multiple positions that have earned that in a single night.

There's no doubt in my mind that my actions at the tables, this blog and Internet poker knowing I'm right have plastered a big bullseye on me. Despite that I've still managed to gt two million chips. I have two million+ on Absolute. I don't remember what I had on Full Tilt, but it was probably pushing one million.

These chips earned aren't a result of any poker skill. They're a recognition of when I'm at a table filled with artificial intelligence and taking advantage of it. And not being actively cheated by someone associated with the site.

What you are about to find is that I have a weird, sarcastic sense of humor and persistence above and beyond normal. Just like my beloved dog Moose (RIP), I am part pitbull.

Two Million Chips

Less than three months ago I had $115,000. How do you get to $2,000,000 in such a sort time?

By NOT playing poker. In its current format no limit Omaha Hi-Lo can hardly be called poker. There's more bingo going on there than thoughtful poker.

Yes, we here at the Big Lay Down made an important decision this weekend. Blogger allows a limited amount of space. And new posts were pushing old posts into the dust bin. So we're starting from scratch.

I know we've all loved the ongoing jokes. My crack time. Proclaiming a nonsense word is a real word. The Asian hottie of the day. And that last one is what I want to talk about.

We're going to drop that theme. Maybe there will be an occasional one here and there, but not the one and sometimes two per post that we had been doing. So other than marking my milestone just achieved about half an hour ago I will not be posting too many more pics.

And by the way the old content is not archived. It's gone. Because I'm sure PokerStars will keep making the same mistakes that they have been and there will be lots of new great stuff.

Peace -

Paradox