More AIOF

I think I've figured this out. It's like Skee ball. There are points awarded for being the first to sit at the table and post AIOF. Must be points. Because surely there isn't any real entertainment value to be the first at the table AND post AIOF.

Remember, I don't count. The reason I'm trying at times (but not this week) to be first at the table is because I'm looking for AIOF. Which like a broken record happens way too often. The only break in the cycle of insanity is that some of the tables are RAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or TURBO GUTZZZZZZZZZZ!

Me and my crack team of poker Skee ball experts (me and the dog that I miss so much) have developed a point system that explains how you win that teddy bear for your girlfriend at the carnival.

You get ten points for being first at the table.
You get twenty five points for being considerate to your future table mates and remind them that it's all in or fold. You don't want them to accidentally log into your table and not be all in and doing something stupid like playing real poker.
There's one point for every character posted in caps lock.
Four points each time your clock ticks down to getting the warning message that it's your turn to play. Another 12 points if your time bank starts up. Another thirty seven if you use the entire time bank up. And 214.637 if you used the time bank up completely making you sit out and then immediately sit back in you annoying douche cocksucker.

The teddy bears cost 3,875,046,317 tickets, so you really need to be active. You don't just want to settle for the 1,736,112,699 alliigator. No, that girl is worth the extra effort.

And if you're really good you can earn that ultimate prize - a m1sspiggy!